Shutting Herself Out
by Howell di Amorosi
Summary: It's about Misato and Kaji.. well her thinking about what she did to Kaji..


Shutting herself out  
  
The last angel is dead and third impact has been avoided.  
  
The pilots of the Evangelions; Unit 00, Ayanami Rei, Unit 01, Ikari Shinji, Unit 02, Langley Soryu Asuka are safe and psychaly healthy.. mentaly is another matter.. SEELE's plan to over-throw NERV and it's creator, Ikari Gendo has failed. And SEELE has been terminated, destroyed by Japan and Germany's Goverments. Now a year has passed since the last angel, Nagisa Kaoru, Kaoru of the sea.  
  
Still...  
  
Unit 00's pilot, Ayanami Rei, has problems understanding herself. Problems of her coming to be, cloud her mind. Un-certain of why she is here. Her questions are getting more and more serious and severe. Ikari Gendo fears that if she is to find the truth about her existence, she will end her life and she won't be able to come back. And that she knows, now with the Dummy Plug destroyed...  
  
Unit 01's pilot, Ikari Shinji, is mentally ill. The damage to his emotions, his feelings, his soul and heart was severe even though it has slowly repaired slightly through time, his pain still continues. His habit of running from reality has been "re-kindled." Though Shinji and his father, Ikari Gendo, Commander of NERV, have gotten closer, but note: that was before Unit 04 of the Eva's went beserk and the pilot was killed right before his eyes as he was left helplessly to watch.  
  
Unit 02's pilot, Langley Soryu Asuka, still has damage emotionaly. Memories cloud her sub-consience and her train of thought. Still her habit of pushing bad realities, bad truths and her bad pasts in a dark corner of her mind continues, for she doesn't want to remember....  
  
=========================================  
  
"Misato-San?" Shinji knocked on her door lightly. "She's doing it again..."  
  
Misato was sitting in her chair. The whole room was silent, except for the sound of her breathing. She had her arms crossed and her head resting in them. She had only half of her face showing, the rest was hidden. She kept her eyes wide open.. Misato was staring at her phone. "It still won't ring...after two whole damn years it still won't ring." Misato sighed and softly started to cry. "Why? Why did I do it? Argh! I was so stupid! ... After all, I still love him don't I?" Misato's soft crying turned into sobbing, weeping, regretting what she did to Spring's ago.  
  
Ritsuko still was best friends with Misato. And of course on the occasion, they went to the bar and talked about how it used to be. Since, after Kaoru, the last angel, was defeated, they left Nerv. But, only Ritsuko and Misato did. Shinji, Rei and Asuka, had no choice. Asuka and Shinji, still had arguments once and a while. But of course, we all expected that. But it's been three months since Misato had recieved any calls, came out her room or even spoken to anyone. She was shutting herself out from the world, again. Of course, people came asking for her, but she said nothing when Shinji came to her door to notify her, or she just slipped a note under the door saying to tell them to go away and leave alone. Of course Shinji didn't tell them that, he kept on making up excuses for her. But he soon got sick of it.  
  
Every day was the same. Shinji or Asuka would call her to dinner and get no response. They started wondering what was going on and their conversation subject at the dinner table was always subjected on Misato. Every night, well, that wasn't always the same, but most of the time you could hear whimpering and the sound of a person crying. It made it hard for Shinji and Asuka to get to sleep, so they started sleeping in, in the mornings and arriving late for NERV. Rei of course, was always there on time.  
  
It was now four whole months, and Shinji and Asuka were at NERV. Misato slowly opened the door to her room. She poked her head out as she softly called out 'Shinji-kun? Asuka?' She waited for a moment and recieved no answer. Which meant the coast was clear. She opened the door and made her way to the kitchen and got a beer (Yebisu, naturally), from the fridge and popped it open. Misato softly sighed and took a small sip as she mumbled quietly to herself. She closed her eyes for a while as she sank to the ground with her legs stretched out on the floor. Penpen quietly waddled his way over to herand poked a small hole in the bottom of Misato's beer can and started drinking, without her knowing. She soon opened her eyes, but by that time Penpen had waddled away. She raised her beer up to her mouth to take another sip and got nothing. She shook the can realizing that it was much lighter than it was 2 minutes ago. She looked inside and saw that there was not even a dfrop left. 'What the..?!' she said in disbelief and then she looked up and saw Penpen smiling at her and running to his fridge. She smiled as she threw the can into the recycle bin across the kitchen and sighed. And because she stayed up the whole night before, she fell asleep on the kitchen floor.  
  
- At NERV -  
  
Shinji and Asuka swiped there pass cards and walked into NERV's Headquarters. There they saw Rei sitting down. 'Rei..' Shinji said somewhat nervously. 'It's wonder girl' Asuka said sarcasticly to Shinji. He looked at Asuka nad just shook his head at her. Asuka just brushed it off and said 'Hey, Wonder Girl!'. Rei looked up somewhat startled. She stood up instantly and walked over to them and greeted them. 'It's about time you reconized us. I was starting to think that you had gone deaf.' Asuka said with a slightly irritated tone. Rei sighed and looked at Asuka and shook her head quietly. 'What is with all the head shaking?!?!!' Asuka asked loudly as all three of them started walking down the corridor.  
  
- At Ritsuko's -  
  
' This is pathetic! It's hopeless! She still refuses to pick up the phone.' Ritsuko sat down, angered. 'What's going on, Misato?' she questioned in her mind. 'If I go over there Shinji'll just make another excuse for her.. Dammit Misato!' She slammed her hand down on the table.  
  
-------  
  
A pindrop hits the wall, flashes of light and things of the past come flashing before her eyes. School, NERV, Second Impact, The Evangelions, the Dummy Plug, Rei, Shinji, Asuka, Ritsuko... A dark hallway.. Kaji.. a gunshot echoing in the distance and a river of tears pushing her away. Pure darkness...  
  
Misato woke up, startled and breathing heavily. 'Kaji....'  
  
  
  
*Note: this is only about half of the complete story. I am working on the other half. Thank you. Sachiel. 


End file.
